Holidays and
Alzheimer's Families Part 1
The holidays are a time when family and friends often come
together. But for families living with Alzheimer's and other dementias, the holidays
can be challenging. Take a deep breath. With some planning and adjusted
expectations, your celebrations can still be happy, memorable occasions.
·
Familiarize
others with the situation
·
Adjust
expectations
Familiarize others with
the situation
The holidays are full of emotions, so it can help to let
guests know what to expect before they arrive.
If the person is in the early stages of Alzheimer's,
relatives and friends might not notice any changes. But the person with
dementia may have trouble following conversation or tend to repeat him- or
herself. Family can help with
communication by being patient, not interrupting or correcting, and giving the
person time to finish his or her thoughts.
If the person is in the middle or late stages of
Alzheimer's, there may be significant changes in cognitive abilities since the
last time an out-of-town friend or relative has visited. These changes can be hard to accept. Make
sure visitors understand that changes in behavior and memory are caused by the
disease and not the person.
You may find this easier to share changes in a letter or
email that can be sent to multiple recipients. Here are some examples:
"I'm writing to
let you know how things are going at our house. While we're looking forward to
your visit, we thought it might be helpful if you understood our current
situation before you arrive.
"You may notice
that ___ has changed since you last saw him/her. Among the changes you may
notice are ___.
"Because ___
sometimes has problems remembering and thinking clearly, his/her behavior is a
little unpredictable.
"Please understand
that ___ may not remember who you are and may confuse you with someone else.
Please don't feel offended by this. He/she appreciates your being with us and
so do I."
Adjust expectations
Call a meeting to
discuss upcoming plans.
The stress of caregiving responsibilities layered with
holiday traditions can take a toll. Invite family and friends to a face-to-face
meeting, or if geography is an obstacle, set up a telephone conference call.
Make sure everyone understands your caregiving situation and has realistic
expectations about what you can do. Be honest about any limitations or needs,
such as keeping a daily routine.
Be good to yourself.
Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably
manage. If you've always invited 15 to 20 people to your home, consider paring
it down to a few guests for a simple meal. Let others contribute. Have a
potluck dinner or ask them to host at their home. You also may want to consider
breaking large gatherings up into smaller visits of two or three people at a time
to keep the person with Alzheimer's and yourself from getting overtired.
Do a variation on a
theme.
If evening confusion and agitation are a problem, consider
changing a holiday dinner into a holiday lunch or brunch. If you do keep the
celebration at night, keep the room well-lit and try to avoid any known
triggers.
Copied from:
http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-holidays.asp?s_oo=zGnEm5Dnou4aWIrvOQSsOQ
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