Aging Care LLC

6 out of 11 Signs Your Parent May Be Ready for Assisted Living
You can gather valuable information by looking for these clues

The decision to help an aging adult move out of a current home is a complex one — both emotionally and practically. Above all, you want your mother or father or another loved one to be safe and well. How can you feel more confident about whether circumstances suggest that he or she should no longer be living alone?

Finding lots of mail scattered around raises concern about how bills, insurance and other matters are being managed.

Although every situation is different, looking at the following 11 signs will give you valuable information to help make the decision:

1. Big-Picture Signs
Keep the big red flags in mind. Certain situations make it more obvious that it’s wise to start thinking about alternate living arrangements.

Look for:
Recent accidents or close calls  Did your loved one take a fall, have a medical scare or get in a fender bender (or worse)? Who responded and how long did it take? Accidents do happen, but as people get older, the odds rise of them happening again.

A slow recovery  How did the person weather the most recent illness (for example, a flu or bad cold)? Was he or she able and willing to seek medical care when needed, or did last winter’s cold develop into untreated bronchitis?

A chronic health condition that’s worsening  Progressive problems such as COPD, dementia and congestive heart failure can decline gradually or precipitously, but either way, their presence means your loved one will increasingly need help.

Increasing difficulty managing the activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs)  ADLs and IADLs are the skills needed to live independently — dressing, shopping, cooking, doing laundry, managing medications and so on. Doctors, social workers and other geriatric experts evaluate them as part of a functional assessment, which is one way to get an expert’s view of the situation. Difficulties with ADLs and IADLs can sometimes be remedied by bringing in more in-home help.

2. Up-Close Signs

Give your loved one a big hug. Clues aren’t always visible from a distance; especially when you don’t see the person every day, you might learn more through touch.

Look for:

Noticeable weight loss  Does the person feel thinner? Are clothes loose or has he added notches to his belt? Many conditions, from depression to cancer, can cause weight loss. A person who is having trouble getting out to shop or remembering how to cook (or to eat) can lose weight; check the fridge and watch meal-prep skills.

Seeming more frail  Do you feel anything “different” about the person’s strength and stature when you hug? Can your loved one rise easily from a chair? Does she or he seem unsteady or unable to balance? Compare these observations to the last time you were together.

Noticeable weight gain  Common causes include an injury slowing the person down, diabetes and dementia (when someone doesn’t remember eating, he or she may indulge in meals and snacks all day long). Someone with money troubles may choose fewer fresh foods and more packaged goods or dried pasta and bread.

Strange body odor  Unfortunately, a close hug can also reveal changes in personal hygiene habits. Causes range from memory trouble to depression to other physical ailments.

Changes in appearance  Does the person’s hair and makeup look all right? Are clothes clean? Someone known for crisply ironed shirts who’s now in a stained sweatshirt may lack the dexterity for buttons or may have lost the strength for managing an ironing board and iron. A formerly clean-shaven man with an unkempt beard may be forgetting to shave (or forgetting how to shave).

3. Social Signs
Think realistically about the person’s social connections. Social circles tend to shrink with age, which can have health and safety implications.

Look for:

Signs of active friendships  Does your loved one still get together for lunches or outings with friends or visits with neighbors or participate in religious activities or other group events? Does he or she talk about others or keep a calendar of appointments? Lack of companionship is associated with depression and heart problems in older adults. If friends have died or moved away, moving to a place where other people are around could be lifesaving.

Signs that your loved one has cut back on activities and interests  Is a hobby area abandoned? Has a club membership been given up? A library card gone unused? There are many reasons people cut back, but dropping out of everything and showing interest in almost nothing is a red flag for depression.

Days spent without leaving the house This sometimes happens because the person can no longer drive or is afraid to take public transportation alone and lacks a companion to come along. While many older adults fear being “locked away” in a retirement home, many such facilities offer regular outings that may keep them more mobile and active, not less.

Someone who checks in on a regular basis  If not you or another family member, who does this? Is your loved one willing to consider a home-safety alarm system, a personal alarm system or a daily calling service?

A plan for a worst-case scenario  If there’s a fire, earthquake, flood or other disaster, is someone on standby to assist? Does your loved one understand the plan?

4. Money Signs
Riffle through the mail. Your loved one’s mail can offer an often-overlooked clue to how he or she is managing money, a common early warning sign of cognitive trouble.

Look for:

Snowdrifts of mail in various places  Finding lots of mail scattered around raises concern about how bills, insurance and other matters are being managed. (Piles of mail are also a potential tripping hazard.)

Unopened personal mail  Everybody skips junk mail, but few of us can ignore a good old-fashioned, hand-addressed letter.

Unopened bills  This can indicate that your loved one is having difficulty managing finances — one of the most common first signs of dementia.

Letters from banks, creditors or insurers  Routine business letters aren’t worrisome. But it’s alarming if letters are referring to overdue payments, overdrawn balances, recent accidents or other concerning events.

Thank-you messages from charities  Older adults are often vulnerable to scammers. Even those who have always been fiscally prudent are vulnerable if they’re having trouble with thinking skills (a common sign of Alzheimer’s disease). Some so-called charities are bogus; other legitimate charities hit up givers over and over, and your loved one may not remember having donating the first time.

Lots of crisp, unread magazines  The person may unknowingly have repeat-renewal subscriptions he or she doesn’t need.

5. Driving Signs
Take a drive — with your loved one behind the wheel, if he or she is still driving. Living independently in our culture often depends on the ability to drive, or the arrangement of alternate transportation options.

Look for:

Nicks or dents on the car Notice the car body as you get in and out. Damage marks can be signs of careless or poor driving.

Whether the person promptly fastens his or her seatbelt  Even people with mild dementia usually follow the rote basics of driving. It’s worrisome if he or she is forgetting this step.

Tension, preoccupation or being easily distracted  The person may be unwilling to engage in conversation while driving. He or she may avoid certain routes, highway driving, or driving at night and in rain — a safe kind of self-policing but also signals of changing ability.

Signs of dangerous driving  People whose driving ability is impaired are more likely to tailgate, drift from their lane, go below the speed limit, react slowly to lights or other cars and mix up gas and brake pedals.

Warning lights  Check out the dashboard as you ride along. Does the car have sufficient oil, gas, antifreeze and windshield-wiper fluid?

6. Kitchen Signs
Go through the kitchen, from fridge to cupboards to oven. Because people spend so much time in this room, you can learn a lot.

Look for:

Stale or expired foods  We all buy more than we need. Look for signs that food is not only old but that this is unnoticed — mold, sour milk that’s still used or expiration dates well past due, for example.

Multiples of the same item Ten bottles of ketchup? More cereal than can be eaten in a year? Multiples often reveal that the shopper can’t remember from one store trip to the next what’s in stock at home.

A freezer full of TV dinners  They might have been bought for convenience, but frozen dinners tend not to make for a healthy diet. If there’s not much fresh food in the house (because it’s too hard to for the person to procure or cook), your loved one might be ready to have help with meal prep or delivery services.

Broken appliances  Check them all: microwave, coffeemaker, toaster, washer, and dryer — any device you know your loved one uses (or used to use) routinely.

Signs of fire  Are stove knobs charred? Pot bottoms singed badly (or thrown out)? Do any potholders have burned edges? Also look for a discharged fire extinguisher, smoke detectors that have been disassembled or boxes of baking soda near the stove. Accidents happen; ask for the story behind what you see. Accidental fires are a common home danger for older adults.

Increased use of takeout or simpler cooking  A change in physical or mental abilities might explain a downshift to simpler recipes or food choices.

Copyright Caring.com, 2013

Reprinted from: http://www.nextavenue.org/11-signs-might-time-assisted-living/ Article: 11 Signs Your Parent May Be Ready for Assisted Living  by Paula Spencer Scott; July 11, 2016; published on Caring.com

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