Aging Care LLC

5 out of 11 Signs Your Parent May Be Ready for Assisted Living
You can gather valuable information by looking for these clues

7. Around-the-House Signs
Look around the living areas. Sometimes the most obvious sign is hard to see because we become so used to it.

Look for:

Lots of clutter  An inability to throw anything away may be a sign of a neurological or physical issue. Obviously it’s more worrisome in a neatnik than in a chronic slob. Papers or pet toys all over the floor represent a tripping hazard.

Signs of lax housekeeping  Spills that haven’t been cleaned up are a common sign of dementia — the person lacks the follow-through to tidy. Keep an eye out for cobwebs, bathroom mold, thick dust or other signs of slackness. Physical limitations can mean your loved one needs housekeeping help or a living situation where this is taken care of for him or her.

Bathroom grime and clutter  A common scenario: Your loved one makes an effort to tidy up living areas but overlooks the bathroom. Or the guest bath is clean, but not the one the person uses all the time (the one off a bedroom, for example). Here you may see a truer picture of how your loved one is keeping up.

8. Pet-Care and Plant-Care Signs
Be sure to check out how the other living things in the home are faring. An ability to take care of pets and plants goes along with self-care.

Look for:

Plants that are dying, dead, or just gone  Most of us have seen plants go brown sometimes. Keep an eye out for chronic neglect, especially in a former plant-lover’s home.

Animals that don’t seem well tended   Common problems: dogs with long nails, cat litter boxes that haven’t been changed lately or dead fish in the fish tank. Poor pet grooming, overfeeding and underfeeding are other red flags.

9. Home-Maintenance Signs
Walk around the yard. Yard maintenance — or lack of it — can yield clues that your loved one isn’t faring as well at home alone anymore.

Look for:

Signs of neglect   Look for discolored siding or ceilings that might indicate a leak, gutters choked with leaves, broken windows or fences and dirty windows.

Newspapers in the bushes  Are papers being delivered but ignored? Sometimes people pick up those they can see on a driveway, but not ones that go off into the yard.

Mail piled up in the mailbox  Go out and check — it’s an indication that your loved one doesn’t even retrieve it regularly.

10. Signs from Friends and Others
Get the input of others who know your loved one in order to collect a fuller picture of reality. Gently probing about what others think isn’t nosy; you’re being loving, concerned, and proactive.

Look for:

Input from those in your loved one’s circle  Talk to old friends and close relatives to get their sense of how the person is faring. Listen for stories that hint that the person doesn’t get out much (“She doesn’t come over anymore.” “She quit book club.”). Pay attention to comments that indicate ongoing concerns (“Has he had that heart test yet?” “We were worried the day the ambulance came.”).

Medical insight  With appropriate permission, your loved one’s primary doctor may share your concerns about his or her patient’s safety at home — or may be able to alleviate those concerns or suggest where to get a home assessment.

A second opinion  A social worker or professional geriatric care manager visits older adults’ homes and does informal evaluations. While your loved one may initially resist the notion of a “total stranger” checking on them, try pitching it as a professional (and neutral) second opinion, or ask the doctor to “prescribe” it. Some people wind up sharing doubts or vulnerabilities with a sympathetic, experienced stranger that they’re loathe to admit to their own children or family.

11. Caregivers’ Signs
Finally, realize that some of the information you collect is intangible —it has to do with feelings and emotions, and the stress levels of everyone involved.

Look for:

How you’re doing  While this decision to remain in the home is not primarily about you — the son, daughter, grandchild, caregiver — your own exhaustion can be a good gauge of a decline in older adults’ ability to care for themselves. Keeping someone at home can require lots of hands-on support or care coordination, and this is time-consuming. If your loved one’s need for care is just plain wearing you out or if a spouse or children are feeling the collective strain of your caregiving activities, these are major signs that it’s time to start looking at other options.

Your loved one’s emotional state  Safety is crucial, of course, but so is emotional well-being. If someone living alone is riddled with anxieties or increasingly lonely, then that may tip the scales toward a move not solely based on health and safety reasons.

If your loved one has a full life, a close neighborhood and community connections and seems to be thriving, it’s worth exploring as many in-home care options as possible before raising stress levels by pressing a move from a beloved home.

If, on the other hand, your loved one is showing signs that living alone is a strain, it may be time for a talk. Broach the subject of where to live in a neutral way and you may find that your loved one harbors the same fears for current and future safety and security that you do. Find out what your loved one fears most about moving and about staying before launching into your own worries and what you think ought to be done.

Copyright Caring.com, 2013

Reprinted from: http://www.nextavenue.org/11-signs-might-time-assisted-living/ Article: 11 Signs Your Parent May Be Ready for Assisted Living  by Paula Spencer Scott; July 11, 2016; published on Caring.com

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